22 year old Willow is one of the very few college grads we’ve ever had on the couch. You’d think this makes her a more interesting conversation partner, with witty comebacks and veiled sexual references or humorous anecdotes about life in general, but you’d be wrong. Apparently they hand a degree to anyone with a pulse at SDSU. Or without one, as seems to be Willow’s case. OK she’s not that quiet but she doesn’t have that pornstar energy, that’s for sure. As a self-proclaimed social justice warrior it’s even more surprising her tight little ass is sitting here today. Porn is generally not high on the to-do list for people who think everything is wrong and unfair with the world except for them. But then again, she does like to hook up with strangers using that certain dating app, and counts threeways with couples as some of her most enjoyable moments in life. So maybe she’ll do well in the jizz biz after all. But wait – there’s the butt stuff. Or rather, lack of it. That’s a hard “no” right there, so we put our non-profit worker through extra positions to ensure that the producers get a wide enough view (hehe) of her sexual talents. Oh, and despite her pleas not to, we do require that she take Mr Vince’s semen inside her, despite not being on birth control. Since she didn’t do anal, we tell her, she really needs to show she’s willing to go that extra mile if she wants those jobs. You know, those adult modeling jobs that pay $1000 to $5000 per day and don’t fucking exist? Yeah, it’s still a thing and yeah, they still fall for it.
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